Today started out fine... I woke up this morning ready to go out to breakfast with my mom. We went to my favorite restaurant Black Bear Diner, split a delicious Joe's Hobo Omelette, and then went home. Eating wore me out, so I attempted to take a nap.
The universe decided a nice peaceful nap was not in the cards for me today. First there was a bird that seemed to be right outside the bedroom window, so I shut the window. Then my cell phone kept going off, saying that I had a text, when in reality it was just junk mail. Finally, I fell asleep and my phone rang... again. That time it was my dad calling, I answered and he wanted to know what I was doing. I grudgingly told him I was trying to sleep, he said he'd let me go back to sleep. I fell back to sleep after a few minutes, but then it was time to go to the store with my mom.
I had a minor headache when I got up, but it wasn't too bad. I started grocery shopping and there seemed to be a lot of impatient people there today. It seemed like every aisle was jammed packed full of shoppers and finally I couldn't handle it anymore.
By the time we exited the store my head was pounding, I was in a cold sweat, my nerves were raw, and my pinky toe was throbbing from where I ran it over with the cart. I got in the car and told my mom what was going on, she deals with anxiety attacks too, and she suggested deep breathing, visualization, which I tried.
I knew I had somewhere to be in an hour, but I couldn't see how I was going to make it. I tried fighting the migraine by taking Advil Liquid Gels, but it took too long to kick in. I finally texted my supervisor and let her know I couldn't make it. The thing is, I really wanted to go, but after an anxiety attack and a migraine I just didn't have the strength to go.
I've been dealing with anxiety for a few years now, I've been through counseling, done the deep breathing, visualization, safe place, etc., but sometimes I just have to say I'm going back to bed... unless of course the attack happens in bed, then its I'll sleep later. Nonetheless it still sucks when I feel like anxiety got the best of me in a sneak attack.
I guess I'll finish up by saying that my head still hurts, not as bad, and my nerves are still raw, but at least I took care of myself by knowing what I couldn't handle today.
Night,
Happily Solo Girl
No comments:
Post a Comment